My Healing Journey: How I Started Healing After an Abusive Relationship and undiagnosed CPTSD

One of the biggest misconceptions about healing from trauma is that everyone has access to therapy, support groups, coaches, and endless resources.

Many of us don't.

When I started my healing journey, I Had been drowning for a few years. I was divorced and pregnant at the same time, leaving an abusive marriage. It took me a couple years to even realize I needed to heal.  I was dealing with anxiety, panic attacks, insomnia, and the overwhelming responsibility of trying to rebuild our lives. I didn't have unlimited resources, extra time, or a support team guiding me every step of the way. And then the Covid Pandemic.

My healing journey was, in many ways, a solo one.

And honestly? That's one of the reasons Sacred Phoenix Network exists today.

Healing While Surviving and Parenting

When my son was two years old, I was blessed with an opportunity that changed the trajectory of our lives.

I accepted a position with a Fortune 500 company that invested heavily in personal growth and employee development. Along with learning corporate-level double-entry bookkeeping, I was paired with a life coach—someone the company referred to as my "Angel."

The company believed that growing people personally helped them reach their professional potential. It was a philosophy that impacted me deeply.

The journey wasn't perfect. There were challenges, setbacks, and moments when I questioned everything. But looking back, I choose to focus on the opportunities and lessons that helped me heal.

Healing Doesn't Always Look Like Therapy

While therapy can be life-changing, it wasn't my primary path to recovery.

Most of my healing came through:

• Reading books about trauma, mindset, and personal growth

• Listening to audiobooks during commutes and late nights

• Journaling

• Meditation

• Self-reflection

• Researching trauma and recovery online

• Learning about the nervous system and trauma responses

I was fortunate to receive about a year of free counseling through an abuse recovery center and safe house. During that season, I also needed medication to help manage my anxiety, panic attacks, and severe sleep issues.

This was during the beginning of the COVID pandemic.

I was navigating trauma recovery while raising a toddler, working, surviving uncertainty, and trying to rebuild my sense of self.

I share this because I believe transparency matters.

I don't want to present my healing journey as if I floated through it with grace and wisdom every day.

I struggled.

I needed help.

I needed support.

And there were many days when simply getting through the day felt like an accomplishment.

Why Sacred Phoenix Network Was Born

One of the hardest parts wasn't just healing from the trauma.

It was finding the resources.

When you're stuck in survival mode, your brain isn't operating at full capacity. You're exhausted. You're overwhelmed. You're living in fight, flight, freeze, or fawn responses.

Yet somehow you're expected to:

• Navigate government assistance programs

• Find medical care

• Locate trauma-informed resources

• Understand mental health terminology

• Parent your children

• Work a job

• Heal yourself

It's exhausting.

That experience became my mission.

I wanted to create the resource I wish I had when I was struggling.

A place for people who are:

• Healing after an abusive relationship or marriage

• Recovering from trauma later in life

• Learning they may have PTSD or CPTSD

• Parenting while their own inner child is hurting

• Breaking generational cycles

• Building healthy boundaries

• Letting go of toxic friendships and family relationships

• Relearning who they are after years of survival

Because healing is hard enough.

Finding help shouldn't be.

The Books That Helped Me Heal

My healing journey started with something accessible: books.

As a single parent during COVID, I didn't always have the ability to attend appointments or programs. But I could read. I could listen to audiobooks while cleaning, driving, or putting my son to bed.

The books below helped shape my understanding of trauma, mindset, leadership, emotional intelligence, personal growth, and healing.

While everyone's journey is different, these resources played an important role in mine.

Recommended Books for Trauma Recovery and Personal Growth

• UnF*ck Your Brain — Faith G. Harper, PhD

• The Servant — James C. Hunter

• The ONE Thing — Gary Keller

• Girl, Stop Apologizing — Rachel Hollis

• Girl, Wash Your Face — Rachel Hollis

• 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do — Amy Morin

• The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People — Stephen R. Covey

• Emotional Intelligence 2.0 — Travis Bradberry & Jean Greaves

Many of these titles are available through Audible and Amazon.

 

Healing Is Not Linear

If you're reading this while struggling through your own healing journey, I want you to know something:

You don't have to have everything figured out.

You don't need to heal perfectly.

You don't need to do it all at once.

Some days healing looks like therapy.

Some days healing looks like reading a chapter of a book.

Some days healing looks like taking your medication, drinking water, and getting out of bed.

Every step counts.

The goal isn't perfection.

The goal is progress.

Like the phoenix, we rise not because we avoided the fire—but because we learned how to transform through it.